Growing up he was just like any other small-town boy from rural South Dakota – a typical racist with limited opportunities and a microscopic worldview who was more likely to be found balls-deep inside a Bison on a Friday night than performing legal assault and battery before millions of spectators – but for Brock Lesnar life has always been about defying the odds… and denying steroid abuse.

At 6′3, 285lbs of what appears to be solid muscle, the terms ‘freak show’ and ‘absolute monster’ come to mind when observing Lesnar maneuver about the octagon, relentlessly punishing opponents with his devastating hammer fists that double as wood-splitters during weekend getaways to his Minnesota cabin. With such absurd power and size, steroid allegations have plagued Lesnar throughout his career, driving him to pull the reverse racism card on a number of occasions:

“I’ve been accused of using steroids my entire life, probably since the tenth grade in high school… I’ve never failed a drug test. Now if I was a black guy and I looked the way I do would I get asked this question a 100 times? I just happen to be a white guy that has some great genetics, so I guess that puts a bullseye on me… I’m a white dude that’s shredded and you don’t see a lot of it — a guy that’s walking around that looks like me.” – FightScoops.com

Quite a disgrace to think that in the year 2009 Americans could still be so ignorant as to accuse a white man of being a drug cheat simply based on the sheer coincidence that he has a 22″ neck with matching 26″ biceps and just happens to have spent his entire career bouncing from one notoriously steroid-laden industry to the next while rising to super stardom in the blink of an eye during his two most recent roles as actor/warrior in WWE and  UFC, respectively.  This type of discrimination CANNOT be tolerated in modern society, ESPECIALLY considering that Lesnar’s gargantuan physique was molded by the hand of God himself – really! Hear it straight from the vanilla Hulk’s mouth:

“I bet you I’ve taken over 60 steroid tests. In college, I had 15 random drug tests in two years. I’ve taken drug tests for the NFL, the WWE, the UFC. I must be pretty good at masking steroids. God gave me this body: Are you jealous of it or what? Give me a break. — Star Tribune

Damn, give him a break already! The man has never failed a drug test, which obviously means he has never ingested/injected a banned substance and/or performance enhancer at any time in his life. You can’t just ‘mask steroids’, that’s impossible. Doing so would require having access to advanced medical technology such as syntehtic urine, or drinks that cleanse your system of drugs overnight, or a proesthetic penis that can store clean urine and is realistic enough to pass an eye-test for a real schlong – do you think ANYONE can just go out and buy this stuff? Come on, don’t be ridiculous – the man’s stature was a gift from God,  just ask Barry Bonds.

Editor’s Note: Frank Mir is gonna snap that no talent ass clowns’ hamstring like raw spaghetti Saturday night…

‘Pushing Every Day’ is the motto, but for these PED-heads the motto is mantra – a way of life. Dedicated professionals committed to the PED lifestyle are always striving for perfection, putting in that ‘little something extra’ to maximize their potential and remain the master of their respective domains. The effort, grit, and determination of hard-working Americans such as these are the inspiration for an entire nation – perhaps even the world – and as such ‘The Diatribe Daily’ will be running a sporadic series of pictorials featuring the cream of the PED-crop… Collect them all!