Ever wonder why guys named Richard choose to go by ‘Dick’? The name is so versatile – Rick, Rich, Richie, Ricky – it always strikes me as odd that of all those choices someone would prefer that you refer to them the same way I refer to my genitals. It’s almost derogatory – no?  Regardless, after reading the latest on Dick Cheney it all makes sense now…

Cheney now supports gay marriage. Seriously. And maybe you’re as surprised as I am to find out that he has held basically the same position since he first entered office back in 2000. I was all set to rant about another example of high-level conservative hypocrisy, but doing a little research (yes that does happen here… occasionally) I came across some quotes that made me about-face:

Asked his position on the subject at a town hall meeting in Davenport, Iowa, Cheney replied: “Lynne and I have a gay daughter, so it’s an issue that our family is very familiar with. … With respect to the question of relationships, my general view is that freedom means freedom for everyone. People ought to be able to free — ought to be free to enter into any kind of relationship they want to.” — San Francisco Chronicle, 2004

My memory must be slipping because I clearly recall this man not even being able to admit his own daughter was gay until like three years into the presidency, nevermind actually SUPPORTING gay rights! Am I wrong here? Looks like I will have to admit some liberal bias on that one, but I digress…

Though I’m sure his aides will clarify that he really means he ’supports States Rights’ as opposed to outright support of gay marriage, this IS a revealing detail in what I have found to be a pattern of homo-erotic behavior by the former Vice President. Let’s look at some facts:

1. He’s Republican, and therefore is genetically pre-disposed to being attracted to men but saying otherwise publicly

2. For the majority of his time in office, the American public rarely saw him in person. This is because he spent most of his days bunkered down in a dark hole.

3. While on a hunting trip with a male companion it was learned that he ’skeeted’ in this gentleman’s face.

4. He prefers ‘Dick’.

Case closed.

Inspiration @ Huffington Post