Today is ‘National Doughnut Day’ which according to the all-knowing Wikipedia has been celebrated for nearly a century here in these United States of America:

National Doughnut Day started in 1938 as a fund raiser for the Chicago Salvation Army. Their goal was to help the needy during the Great Depression, and to honor the Salvation Army “Lassies” of World War I, who served doughnuts to soldiers behind the front lines in France.

YouTube Direkt

100% Pure Unfiltered BULLSHIT. Such an account is revisionist history at best, a mild corporate conspiracy  at worst. I’ve asked a number of baby boomers, and even two septuagenarians about this so-called ‘holiday’ and not a single one can remember it being celebrated – or even MENTIONED -  in their youth. Granted human memory can be fickle, but in this case I think people don’t know about/can’t remember this holiday BECAUSE IT NEVER EXISTED years ago!

The truth is that ‘National Doughnut Day’ is yet another government sponsored ‘buy stuff’ day aimed at getting the American public to help push profit margins for corporations who in turn push contributions into political coffers. It’s consumerism, capitalism, and cronyism all wrapped into one chocolate glazed, fat-filled delicious circle of fun!

Given the amount of extra-marital mishaps our wonderful heads of state are known for, the next question is how many DDU students (that’s Dunkin Donuts University to the lay person) were forced to fellate politicians in the hopes of adding an official day of fatness to the national calendar? We may never know…